Yom Kippur began at sundown last Friday and ended 25 hours later. For the first time in memory, I not only fasted but also attended all the religious services, attending the opening service Friday night and spending all the next day at our synagogue, Beth Elohim, in Park Slope. As a result, at the conclusion of services on Saturday, when God is said to lock the book in which he has written the names of those who will live for the next year, I felt spiritually cleansed.
It was a strange reaction for an atheist, but then religious experience is scarcely rational. Our newly minted cantor, Josh Breitzer, has a clear, sweet, tenor voice that he used to serve the prayer rather than to show off his virtuosity. The congregation sang almost the whole service. The beauty of the melodies reinforced the sense of the text, particularly those portions that require acknowledgement of our sins of commission and omission during the past year. These sins include those committed by the communities to which we belong, for we are partly responsible for them. As each sin was announced, we beat our right hand against our left chest, an act that increased the solemn drama of the occasion, which was enhanced by the grandeur of the main sanctuary, opened for the first time in two years.
At the conclusion of the service, our rabbi, Andy Bachman, told us that even then our thoughts were turning to secular concerns. And of course he was right. Just as I know, after visiting my dental hygienist, that the fresh feeling in my mouth won't last for more than a few hours, when I eat again, I knew that not much time would elapse before the exigencies of everyday life, in collusion with my own weakness, would lead me to act in way discordant with my ethical ideals. Still, the practice of Mussar, taught by Gary Shaffer, a fellow member of our congregation, a practice which encourages us to be conscious of our behavior, to be more fully present to what we’re doing and thinking, may help reduce the number of misdeeds I have to consider on the next Yom Kippur.
Religious rituals are very involving. I still love the singing mess in Latin. I remember when we were in Rome in St. Peter, I and a Communist friend of mine, we faught to see the pope from close. I although think it is a trick. The problem is the idea of SIN which involves a GOD. Different is to think I did something wrong according to my values, to my coscience, to my ethics. I want to decide what is good both for the community and for me. I suppose no Jew feels guilty towards the Palestinians as God is on their side. The same for the Catholics, for the Islamics etc. Wally
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