Anchises' Law

As all the world knows, Anchises’ Law states that you never know where it’s coming from.  The latest example of this imperishable truth occurred recently when my left foot began to hurt.  We were in Alaska then and I thought I’d give it a few days to see if the pain subsided.  But once in New York, when the pain became even worse, I suspected that I had fractured a bone, which I had done twice before.  In fact my foot doctor told me that this time I had broken not one, not two, but three bones.  Would you believe that the breakage resulted from my participation in a kick-boxing contest?  I didn't think so.  In fact I have no memory of bumping or spraining my foot, so the breakage, according to my doctor, is the consequence of osteoporosis.

Limping is an appropriate problem for me, since my namesake, the first Anchises, was lame.  This was a result not of osteoporosis but of speaking out of turn.  He was so beautiful a young man that Aphrodite fell for him big time: she came to earth and seduced him.  It’s not written whether she had to work at this, but I suspect she did not.  Anchises, in a drunken moment, bragged to his friends about his affair with her, which so incensed Zeus that the king of the gods hurled a thunderbolt at him, which lamed him for life.  The fruit of his affair with Aphrodite was Aeneas, the legendary founder of Rome, who carried him on his back out of the burning city of Troy.  I know I've told you this story before but it's such a good story it deserves to be told at least once a year and besides, as an old man, I  have the license to repeat myself.

I’m thankful that New York isn’t burning and that even if it were I wouldn’t have to depend upon my son to carry me out.  I’m thankful that the laming is not permanent.  Most of all, I’m grateful that for the last 49 years, Aphrodite has seen fit to stay with me.  If this is bragging, I hope Zeus won’t throw a thunderbolt in my direction.  Three broken bones are enough for now.

2010-2012 Anchises-An Old Man’s Journal All Rights Reserved