The Wrong Song

When I was in my twenties, still single and a bit wild, two friends and I visited a supper club in which Mabel Mercer was singing. She was perhaps the greatest cabaret singer of her generation, a superlative interpreter of the American songbook. Her diction was impeccable and her phrasing so masterful that it influenced other singers, including Frank Sinatra, who attended many of her performances. I was among the legion of her admirers, and it was I who suggested we go to hear her.

We had had a few drinks before we arrived and, after another drink at the club, I was pretty high. I went to the john and, much to my surprise, when I returned I found one of my friends talking to her. He introduced me to her as one of her most devoted fans. She invited me to join her for a drink.

Among the many things she told me was that whenever a person asks her to sing one of the songs for which she is known, she says to herself, “oh no, not again,” but that after she begins to sing it, she once again understands its appeal. Soon it was time for her set. Before excusing herself, she asked me what song I would like her to sing. I asked for Cole Porter's "It's All Right with Me," one of the songs for which she was best known. She sighed.

It was the fourth song she sang and just before she began it she nodded to me as I stood at the bar. She was a queen acknowledging the homage of a subject. I was thrilled. But the next day, when I awoke stone cold sober, I realized what I had done. I had acted as if I hadn't heard what she had told me. To this day, I’ve regretted it. I can see her now, seated regally on a high stool next to the piano, her back straight, her hands quiet in her lap, singing of love and betrayal. In my small way, I had betrayed her. But my guess is that it affected me more than it did her.

Ever since that evening, more than 50 years ago, I experience a pang whenever that incident comes to mind. But recently I’ve noticed an additional feeling, a tender fondness for that young man. He meant no harm and, after all, that was the song he wanted to hear.