In Monday's post, I wrote about Professor David Oliver's video blogs concerning the course of his disease, nasal pharyngeal cancer, and its treatment. One of his blogs was devoted to the importance of friendships and social support. Recently I had a demonstration of its power, when I went to Friday evening services at our congregation after an unavoidably public fainting bout there the week before.
We had joined the congregation at least five years ago, but it's only in the past year that I've been participating fully, joining its biweekly Mussar group, its weekly Torah Study Group, and the rabbi's weekly lesson, participating in Friday evening services and in the Saturday morning minyan, and providing occasional commentaries for the weekly bible portion. My initial motivation was, I confess, instrumental. I wanted a social network. After leaving behind a tight community in Jerusalem, I felt as if I was now among a lot of loose marbles on a tray, as a student of mine once described the population of Los Angeles, where he saw little connection among people. If religious congregations offer anything, it's fellowship, and so I started to participate in my own congregation because of my search for friends.
That my search was rewarded was clear at Shabbat services after my pacemaker was installed. When I entered the prayer hall, at least a score of people greeted me with hugs and kisses and congratulations. One would have supposed that I had returned from a trip to the moon. And when our prayer leader asked if anyone would like to mention the name of a person in need of physical or spiritual healing, in connection with the mi sheberach prayer, a half dozen people gave my name. Although I felt that I didn't deserve so much attention, it was, of course, immensely gratifying. It gives me confidence that when the symptoms of my metastastic cancer become obvious - a long time from now I hope - the congregation will rally to my support In the meantime, I've found participation in its various activities gratifying on its own terms. Even atheists need spiritual refreshment.
2010-2012 Anchises-An Old Man's Journal All Rights Reserved
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Of course even atheists need a group. That what is for me the chorus I frequented for 20 years. We enjoy together, they supported a lot a single lady who had cancer. That is what is the women group I organized for 8 years. In the past there was the chess player association.My point is that you do not need a religion to have social relations in a town. I aggree with Hitchens: In Israel there will be peace without the 3 religions! Wally
ReplyDeleteI agree about the importance of friends, and with Wally's comment that it need not be a synagogue that gives you a feeling of community.
ReplyDeleteMy wife's grandmother used to enjoy saying, "I love you anyway," meaning that she loved us despite our many obvious faults which she was too polite to mention.
In my Synagogue there are many people who are perfectly aware of my faults -- not the least of which is my oversized ego -- and are fond of me anyway.
It is probably the best I can hope for.