Kindness and Old Age

A recent review of the literature by Kenneth Vail and associates found that when people are reminded of their mortality, they are more likely to be good to others and to themselves (http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/05/the-secret-to-a-long-life-is-thinking-about-death/257675/).  In one study, for example, people were found to be more helpful to others when they were in the vicinity of a cemetery than when they were not. 

Other studies have found that when people are reminded of death, they are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors such as using sun screen, exercising more, and performing breast self-exams.  They are also more likely to engage in pro-environmental behaviors.

The elderly are not necessarily more aware of their mortality than others, but based on this sample of one, myself, I believe they are.  If I’m right about that, does it follow that the elderly are kinder to others and do they take better care of themselves than is true for the general population?  My wife tells me that I’m a much nicer guy these days, but if true, it is probably one of the effects of my hormone treatment, which has drastically reduced the amount of testosterone in my body, rather than an outcome of age. 

When I think about the old people I have known, including my aunts and uncles, some were generous and kind in old age, while others were crabbed and selfish.  Awareness of death may have intensified their character traits, but not changed them.  They were much the same in old age as they were when they were younger.

I don’t believe that awareness of death has made me kinder to others or to myself.  But it has had other valuable  effects.  First, I’m less upset and more tolerant of the troublesome behavior of others and of the inevitable contretemps one encounters in everyday life than I used to be  – life’s too short to obsess about such things – and second, I’m constantly aware of how good it is to be alive.  I’m thankful for every day.